I used to drink coffee. That was about a year and a half ago. Then it happened.
I was working at Asty 45 (building’s name) teaching English conversation (the word teaching is highly overrated -- coaching is more like it). This was in February or so and I went to the shopping area of Sapporo station -- this is connected to Asty 45.
I dropped by a coffee shop that I usually frequented. It was in the corner of a shopping mall, conveniently located far enough that I wouldn’t be able to bump into anyone. It was a wide open place with a high ceiling and enough space between tables. I ordered one coffee and sipped away. The stuff was pretty strong.
At the job that I was doing, two hours breaks seem the norm. You can probably kill an hour with a coffee but I feel a bit uncomfortable by myself with one coffee for two hours. I ordered one more cup.
I remember drinking a Coke earlier that day so my body was full of caffeine. This didn’t seem to be a problem until my last class of the day.
I had to guide a free-chat session which means you kind of talk about whatever... usually I came prepared with a few topics just in case no one had anything to talk about.
There were two students in that class. The student on the left was a high level speaker who could respond and create her own ideas. The other student was a lower level student, that I knew could cause trouble. She had a reputation for being “selfish”, only interested in talking about herself, in broken and undecipherable English. She was in her mid-twenties and pretty in some ways but a conceited and rotten person deep down.
The fifty-minute class started with the higher level student taking out her homework and asking me to check some stuff that she got as homework from another school that she goes to. I checked it out and it contained all of these advanced terms that I had no idea about. I have to admit that while I’m a native speaker there are countless things about the language that I have no idea about. Panic mode ensued. I had to tell the students I really had no idea what the stuff meant.
Next I had to bring up some topics. Usually you have to talk about “daily” topics about the students’ lives or, I hate doing this, my own life. Lots of teachers tend to ramble about themselves. It’s entertaining and I don’t mind doing it for a short time but it defeats the purpose of an English conversation school if the teacher blabs for forty-five minutes while the students speak a mere five minutes.
I can hardly remember what we talked about but the lower level student was not cooperating. Whatever I would say, she would just change the subject and talk about her life. I’d ask her questions and she would ignore what I was saying. There seemed no way of getting any sort of flow in the conversation. Basically, I realized that I had absolutely nothing to talk about with this person.
At this point, something happened to my brain. The sweat started coming out. I was at a loss for words and my mind was a complete blank. My motor skills were messed up beyond belief and I could barely string a sentence together.
The reasons for this happening were over-thinking, stress and... a caffeine overdose.
For the rest of the class, I just went through the motions of asking simple and basic questions. It worked and I survived even though my brain was an absolute mess.
After work, I realized that I was a wreck. The voices in the office were just voices. I could barely absorb what people were saying. The muscles in my stomach and shoulders were as tense as possible. I was nervous as hell and I couldn’t speak or form coherent sentences. I was getting paranoid that the people around me were noticing something was wrong with me (luckily, I don’t think anyone noticed).
After getting home I realized that I was getting panic attacks and couldn’t sleep. I had no idea how I would be able to function the next day at work.
Well, I went to work the next day feeling like a zombie. While sitting, I was constantly leaning on my left elbow for support since my arms were shaking. I realized that I wasn’t blinking and that I was staring at people. My mind and motor skills were unstable. This continued for about a week and a half.
After that the symptoms got gradually better and I could finally relax.
It’s been a year and a half since I had a full cup of coffee. I tried taking a few sips from a friend’s coffee once and I noticed the symptoms coming back -- the strain in my stomach and staring would be there but not severe enough to last more than a few hours.
Learning from experience caffeine can be a pretty vicious drug. I do like the smell of coffee though...
Does anyone else have this problem or are you able to chug coffee without any side effects?
